The Road less Traveled

So you probably didn't know this because I have not shared it, but my dearest wonderful husband was offered a position at Willingdon Church. They offered him the young adults pastor position! He has been blessed with unbelievable favor at Willingdon. I know he is amazing but it was recognized by many, many pastors and leaders there. Of course it is only by God's grace Matt found such favor. We have spent the past 2 months (feels like much longer) on a roller coaster of deciding between staying at Willingdon or Church Planting BC. We have never been in this position before. We look down each road as far as we could possibly conceive and can see so clearly how God could bless each one. Two doors wide open seemingly equal. Or as the Frost poem goes,

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could"

My husband is such a deep thinker, when it comes to such big decisions he goes back and forth from one extreme to the other in sometimes a matter of days. It drives me crazy, but by God's grace I had patience and peace that God would direct us in the choice. Part of the problem was that I feel perfectly happy and at peace with either one. A highlight of each would be, staying at Willingdon means a possibility of having them help Matt get his Masters (or at least start it), a stable, secure place to start family and for Matt's health to stabilize. Church Planting BC, following the original felt call, Matt being able to use his gift more freely, more opportunity to reach the lost. Matt is an evangelist! I didn't have a clue when I married him, but praise the Lord, my heart soars far above the earth when I hear him preach the pure gospel, Christ crucified.

With just a glimpse I hope you can see that both roads seem very good, even godly. Both sides so excited to have us with them, recognizing Matt's gifts and call.

I have become even more of a prayer reliant wife.

Finally after a few months of prayer, conversations, more prayer and more conversations, God has guided my husband to make a decision. This past week he pulled the plug on the conversion with Willingdon in asking them to take him off the table for the position. It actually took two tries, the first time they asked him to wait, but the next day he sat down again with them again. Willingdon was really disappointed. There are certain people who were really praying we would stay, those conversions are the hardest. I am very relieved to have that over, for now.

So call me a Church Planters wife again, well at least in September.

I'm so thankful for God's grace and guidance in this decision, and for a godly husband.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference"

Breaking the Silence

Well, it has been a while. The longer it is the harder it becomes to blog. I never know where to start. So much and so little to say all at the same time. I felt like if I just start of with something to "break the silence" maybe it won't be so long till the next time I blog again.

Recently I have been working on spending more time expressing myself through creative projects I enjoy. I think it feeds my soul. Sometimes I wonder why I get so much pleasure out of creating. I wonder if it is worth while for me to spend my time and energy making things. Then I remember God is the ultimate creator. I probably love it so much because I am His child, created in His likeness. When I look at it from that perspective it only makes since. It is simply a love I inherited from my heavenly father. That being said, I've been spending more time drawing, painting, knitting and crafting in general. It brings me so much joy. Oh, I wish I had a sewing machine. I sometimes day dream of all the things I would make. No sense in getting one now though, we don't even have a table to put it on, not even a desk for that matter. 517 square feet leaves only room for the necessities. No complaints though, all in due time.

I am also working on (or being worked on, rather) being content with what I have. In some area's this is easy, in other area's I feel my foolish heart will never learn. For example I am perfectly happy never owning my (our) own home. On the other had for some reason I always "need" a particular item of clothing. Black flats, a new sweater, pants for work, a new jacket. Little things, things I would not spend more than $20.00 on, but I think about them until I have them. If only I could channel my determination into something a bit more useful. Some how I get confused, I start thinking that thing I want will make me feel content. Wrong! Of course it is wrong, but my fleshly thoughts are so sneaky. I am very thankful to be married for many reasons, but because of my struggle in this area I am extra grateful to God for my dear husband. He is very gentle about it, but always lets me know when I am being lead by me fleshly desires and not my God given ones. Many times he is so right it makes me mad! How foolish I can be.

On the other hand, I am reaping the fruit of submission to God's conviction and my husbands gentle leading. I have more joy! More peace and more freedom when I listen. When I put to death my fleshly desires. Of course there are more ways then just wanting new clothing that I notice my discontentment. Much more serious ways. It is absolutely necessary for me to realize, it is not about the clothes, it is about the idolatry in my heart. It is the fleshing out of me not truly believing in my heart that He is enough for me. His grace is enough for me!

I never get sick of that song, even though I think we sing it every Sunday and then some. If that is what it takes to remind me, His grace is enough for me, then I'll sing it all day everyday.

"Your grace is enough, your grace is enough, your grace is enough for me"!