Friday, October 16, 2009

Prayer

Sometimes God is subtle, other times he is not. Lately he has not-so-subtly impressed on me the importance of prayer, prayer and more prayer. I have always been a firm believer in prayer. There have been times in my life I could not even breathe without a prayer, and other times that prayer has been sparse and heartless, possibly verging on irreverent. Lately it has been inescapable for me. Every sermon, every scripture and the circumstance God has placed me in have been all about prayer.

I find in my life I am constantly relearning everything pertaining to my walk with God. Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in Kindergarten when it comes to faith, I have been failing and redoing it for around eighteen years now. It amazes me how I have everything memorized by heart, but in the situation of application I freeze up, and then do the opposite of what I am supposed to.

For example, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths" Proverbs 3:5-6. I have the memorized, but when it comes to making decisions or when problems arise my first reaction is stress, anxiety and trying to figure out how to fix it as fast as possible. AKA leaning on my own understanding. Do I acknowledge Him in everything? No. Do I trust that He is directing my paths? No. I worry, stress, plan, talk, and give myself ulcers and pretty much everything except trust. When I am finally at the place of total emotional and physical exhaustion, realizing that I am failing horribly not only at whatever it is I am trying to accomplish myself, but moreover, and much worse, failing at the one thing God has called me to; trust Him. Only then when I am in that place of brokenness do I cry out to God, knowing he is all I have. I realize that maybe when I was praying before it was just a back up plan, if I can't figure out how to fix this, hopefully God can. I am not an expert but I am pretty sure that is the wrong way to pray. “Here God have my leftovers.”

Prayer is essential. Prayer is powerful. Jesus prayed all the time. Thankfully He taught us how to pray. I am learning to pray for things I never thought to pray for. Like faith, when I am in a situation and getting stressed, I realize I am not trusting God, (Oh you of little faith), I ask God to by His grace, give me faith so that I can trust Him. Prayer is not just talking to God it is listening to him too. Sometimes I even pray that he will help me to pray more. The more I learn about God the more I want to pray to him, and the way I pray changes. I love to pray through scripture, it is so powerful to me.

The purpose of prayer is not that everything in my life is fixed but that God would be glorified. So how is God glorified by prayer? Prayer is the open admission that without Christ we can do nothing. And prayer is the turning away from ourselves to God in the confidence that he will provide the help we need. Prayer humbles us as needy and exalts God as wealthy.