On A Stage

I felt a bit embarrassed yesterday. My husband has been recruited to play drums 3 Sundays in a row and the church plant we are spending the month of August at. This means that 3 Sundays in a row I will be at the church bright and early for their practice due to our single vehicle situation. In seeing him, I mentioned to the pastor that if they happened to need a female vocalist one of those Sundays I would be happy to sing. He jokingly asked my husband if I can sing. Then ask if I has experience. I told him about my past church as well as my time at bible school on worship teams. Then he proceeded to explain to me why he does not want me to, basically he has been having difficulty getting the young women in his church to step up and lead on a regular basis, seeing as how I will only be with them for a month he would rather I didn't. I totally understand, which I expressed, but he proceeded to say something about not just being able to sing but having a heart of worship is the important thing. I know what he meant, he is a great guy, we really like him. In fact I totally agree with him, it is not just about sounding good. But it stung. I was not about to go into a spin about it, I just let it go. He didn't mean it in a hurtful way after all. But it still stung me. So much so that today I am still thinking about it.

I know God has called me and blessed me with a heart of worship, thought music, art, dance and creativity. I want my heart to always remain towards Him. I asked Him to remind me the beauty of worshiping Him with my whole heart.

I asked Him to teach me no matter where I am or what I am doing, whether on a stage or off, with a mic or without, to keep my heart content to worship Him alone with abandon.

I do believe He has blessed me with the ability to lead people into heartfelt worship of Him. I never, ever, ever want it to be about me. How I look or sound, or how I am perceived. Truly it is only by the Spirit that anything I do, say or think can be a fragrant praise offering to Him. What I really need is for Him to keep me from distractions and to give me a true heart of worship. To purify my heart and cleanse away my selfishness. For Him to teach me how to worship him and how to lead worship on and off a stage. I want my whole life to be worship not just when I am singing. I want (by the power of the Holy Spirit) to live my life in such away that I am leading people to worship God all the time.

As I go into my new job in a secular environment based completely on physical appearance, it will be a battle to keep my focus completely on God. I need His Holy Spirit to help me to live in a way that is worshipful to Him. In a way that leads others around me to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. It is a different sort of stage and much more challenging than just a 5-6 song set with a microphone.

Lord, by your grace teach me to worship you and lead others to worship you with my whole life. Amen.